It’s Been a While…..

13 Oct

I know I have been MIA for a loong time but lately i’ve had the urge to come back. I’m not sure how yet, but for now, here is something I wrote long ago, so long that the experience has all but been forgotten, except for this little window into what once was.

The Tangled Web

I am no one special. I’ve done nothing great. But I have these memories. Memories that are more

like secrets. These secrets are known to very few, spread out in the minds of various people who

happened to cross my path at the right time. My secrets, my lies, my memories will cause pain,

but my heart is exploding. I can feel the memories knocking on the inner walls of my heart

aching to get out, bleeding through cracks as each day passes. My heart is always pounding and

crying. It is suffocating from the firm grip these secrets hold on it. I must let them out. I have to

open the flood gates and let them all pour out, for the fear of hurting my loved ones is

overpowered by the fear of holding hostage these memories. My loved ones will forgive me,

they love me, they must. But my soul will never be able to forgive for the emptiness created if

those memories fade away. With each rise of the sun and ring of my alarm clock, those

experiences, sensations, memories begin to slowly become paler until one day they will be lost

forever in absolute darkness. I refuse to let this happen and that is why I have finally decided to

let my heart breathe. I have decided to put those thoughts and secrets to rest on paper, where they

can be read and relived with each spoken phrase. By doing so, I can assure myself that I will

never forget the happiness, the sadness, the laughter, the pain, and the indifference that I

experienced that year…..


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